What to Say When Your Kid Catches You in Bed.(中文翻译见第二页）转
本帖最后由 Col 于 2012-1-25 14:11 编辑ps: 谢谢水精的帮忙翻译！{:5_335:}
觉得对有小孩家庭可讨论的实际问题，转上来共享{:5_335:}
私密时刻，如何对孩子说？
如果你的孩子正好看到你和你的伴侣在做爱，你会向他们清楚的解释爸爸妈妈在干什么吗？或者是对孩子隐瞒事实？孩子们的年纪已经到了适当了解性知识的时候吗？来自于Circle of Moms母亲联合会的会员Sara D. 向各位父母提出了如上问题，由此希望将这个在很多父母间私下讨论的话题拿到台面上来进行公开化的研讨。
Sara承认自己很有可能会向孩子隐瞒事实，而许多其他妈妈表示为了避免把这样的时刻演变成对孩子的性教育课程，她们会尽一切可能（如果不是心血来潮的话) 编出一些故事来对孩子进行讲述。“这确实是一个对孩子进行教育的好时机，” Sara D. 补充道，“但是我觉得我的丈夫也会倾向于对孩子隐瞒。”
我们应该意识到，也许有一天，你的正处于学龄的孩子会在半夜突然闯进你和你伴侣的卧房。Cheryl Z.说：“孩子们似乎有着敏锐的第六感去感觉到父母将要开始性爱活动了，无论他们睡得有多沉，无论是在白天的小睡时段或者是在夜半时分；我发誓我们的儿子对爸爸妈妈的此类活动相当的了然于心并且会尽一切可能让我们停下来。昨晚半夜2点，正在我们刚刚开始时，他突然就醒了，以前他可是整晚睡的很香的。他一定是不希望自己有新来的弟弟或者妹妹！"
这个协会的会员们建议父母都事先准备一个故事性的说辞去面对这样的时刻。“我告诉我四岁的孩子，妈妈正在给爸爸一个大大的拥抱，因为新的一天即将开始了”，Carolee Y.这样说道，“我和孩子们每天都会互相拥抱，所以告诉孩子妈妈是在和爸爸拥抱着打滚应该是非常可信合理的说法（我觉得的话）。”
另外一些父母表示他们面对此类情况的处理方法会根据孩子的年龄有所不同。“14年来我们还没碰到过这样的情况，” Sherri C.说，“而且到了青春期的孩子也不需要父母去做解释了。而如果是幼童的话，我会隐瞒事实，而代之以‘爸爸妈妈在玩摔跤’ 一类的解释。”
一些妈妈也建议父母可以简单的装作什么事都没有发生过，即使之前孩子正好撞见他们的行动。当Laura和她的丈夫被孩子撞见时，他们的儿子根本没有问他们在做什么，于是像Circle of Moms协会建议的一样，她也做出一副什么事都没发生的样子去面对自己的儿子。“他只是想玩游戏，于是我把iPad递给了他，” Laura笑着说道。不过，如果她儿子还是幼童的话，她也会倾向于讲故事的形式。“如果孩子们已经懂得了什么是性爱，那么他们应该会明白爸爸妈妈在做什么，而不会向我们询问。所以如果孩子提问，我会隐瞒事实，因为这个时刻并不是向孩子进行性教育的好时机，我是这么认为的。”
有几位被孩子撞见过的妈妈们说他们现在准备另外寻找新的地点过夫妻间的性生活。Louise G. 有几个学龄孩子以及一个幼童，她说她和丈夫自从被孩子撞见过后，就几乎已经停止了夫妻性生活。后来他们决定改变下方式，把大孩子交给保姆看管，小点的孩子带身边，每6到8周去酒店度过周末。Louise这样说道：“等小家伙一睡着，我们就可以坐在一起喝杯酒享受享受。这种方式可以更加巩固我们的夫妻关系，并让我们看到生活里的新希望。”
自从孩子们开始有兴趣观察父母的行为时，Tah D.与她的丈夫就发掘了一些意想不到的场所去进行他们的秘密性爱活动，即使他们的三个从三岁到十三岁的孩子们当时都在家。“孩子们在家与否不是问题，如果我们想了，我们可以去浴室里面。 ”
而也有另一些会员觉得有必要向孩子简单的陈述事实。“我更愿意说出事实，或者是说出意义近似的解释，” Denikka G.这么认为，“我家最大的孩子才2岁半，所以还不会向父母提问，但是他已经看见过好几次我们的行为。这时，我们也只是停下来，将他抱回自己床上去。等他渐渐大起来，我想我们会诚实的面对他的疑问。当然，我不会对孩子说得那么详细，而会解释成‘妈妈和爸爸在一起亲热’ 或诸如此类的说法。”
Becky T. 观点相同：“ 我女儿10岁了，我觉得有必要让她明白一些东西。在她小一些的时候，我们有好几次差点被她撞见，不过当她打开房门时，她没有现出很疑惑或好奇的样子，也没有问过我们任何问题，于是我从来没有面临过对她撒谎的时刻。现在她大了，已经对性爱有了美好的幻想和心灵萌动，甚至开始关注某些性暗示一类的词语(即使她根本无法完全理解）。我觉得以她的年龄已经可以明白一些事实了。关于妈妈怀上小BABY的事，她很清楚的意识到那是因为妈妈的卵子被爸爸的精子授精相结合而成的。”
原文见以下和后面楼层
“If your kids walk in on you and your partner having sex do you tell the truth about what you're doing? Or do you lie? Does their age play a factor in what you decide to tell them?” These questions, from Circle of Moms member Sara D., bring a topic that typically is whispered about in many homes into the open.
Sara confesses that “I’d probably lie,” but many moms report that they’ve gone to great – if not spontaneous – lengths in creative storytelling to avoid having to make the moment into a sexual education class. “It’s certainly a teaching moment, LOL,” adds Sara D. “But I think my husband would lie.”
Let’s face it, you know the day is going to come, that day when your grade school-aged kid marches into your bedroom in the middle of the night. Says Cheryl Z.: "Kids have a sixth sense when their parents are going to have sex. It doesn't matter how deeply he is sleeping or if it is during his morning or afternoon nap or the middle of the night; I swear my son knows when daddy puts the moves on mommy and he does his best to stop it. Last night at 2 am he woke up out of nowhere just as we were starting, even though he had slept soundly all night. He must not want any brother or sisters!”
Several Circle of Moms members suggest having a story ready for the inevitable moment. “I told my four-year old that mommy was giving daddy a big hug before starting the day,” says Carolee Y. “The kids and I always hug throughout the day, so it was plausible that mommy just rolled over and hugged daddy (I think).”
Others say how they handle it depends on the child's age.“In 14 years it has never ever happened to us,” says Sherri C. “However, for teenagers it wouldn't need an explanation. For a toddler I would lie and come up with , like 'we were wrestling.'"
Some moms suggest parents just simply pretend nothing happened, even when they are caught smack dab in the middle of the act. When Laura and her hubby were interrupted,” their son never even asked what was going on. So, as many Circle of Moms advise, she just acted as if nothing had happened. “I just handed him the iPad and he went to play a game,” she says, adding a “LOL.” But, if her son were toddler, she says: “I'd lie to a little one. If they already knew what sex was then I assume they'd know what we are doing and wouldn't even ask. So I guess, if they asked, I'd lie. Walking in on mom and dad doing it isn't the ideal time to teach about sex I'd think.”
A few moms who have been caught say they now have taken to escaping to a new locale for sex. With older teen kids and a toddler, Louise G. says she and her husband almost stopped having a sex life after interruptions form their kids became a pattern. They decided to be creative, and started leaving the older kids with a babysitter and heading to a hotel for the weekend every 6-8 weeks - with their toddler! As Louise tells it, "Once she was in bed we would sit with a glass of wine and just chill out. It just helped us reconnect as a couple and gave us something to look forward to.”
Since her kids started catching on to what was going on in the bedroom, Tah D. and her husband have found creative places to “sneak” sex even when their three kids – ages three to 13 – are home. “The kids can be home or not,” she says. “We will go in the bathroom if we have to.”
Other Circle of Moms members feel it is important to simply tell it like it is.“I would probably tell the truth, or a close approximation of it,” says Denikka G. “My oldest is only two-and-a-half though, so hasn't asked any questions yet, but he has walked in on us a couple times. At this point, we just don't make a big deal out of it. We stop and put him back to bed. In the future, I think honesty is the best policy. I may not tell him all the gory details if he's still really young, but something like ‘mommy and daddy are having special loving time’ or something like that.”
Becky T. agrees: “My daughter is 10 and I think at this point I would be honest with her. When she was smaller we ‘almost’ got caught a few times, but when the door opened, she didn't seem to notice anything strange and didn't ask any questions. I never had to lie to her about it. Now that she's 10 and has a pretty good idea what sex is, and catches on to some (not all, but some) sexual innuendos that people make (which are supposed to be over her head), I think she's old enough to realize the truth. Not to mention Mom's having another baby (any day now) and she's well aware that babies are created from Mom's egg fertilized with Dad's sperm.”
Have you ever been interrupted by your child
父母关好门就解决了所有的问题。 孩子在一岁以后就最好不要和父母同房了。 dahli 发表于 2012-1-24 23:07 static/image/common/back.gif
父母关好门就解决了所有的问题。 孩子在一岁以后就最好不要和父母同房了。
女孩一般都粘爸爸妈妈的，哪能那么好容易哄呢。。
男孩容易点{:5_387:} ”I swear my son knows when daddy puts the moves on mommy and he does his best to stop it.“
看到这儿我真忍不住乐了
Col 发表于 2012-1-24 23:40 static/image/common/back.gif
女孩一般都粘爸爸妈妈的，哪能那么好容易哄呢。。
男孩容易点
我儿子是一岁自己睡自己房间了。偶尔会和我睡。 女儿也打算一岁后让她和哥哥睡一间房了。有个伴应该还好。 凌波不过横塘路 发表于 2012-1-24 23:42 static/image/common/back.gif
”I swear my son knows when daddy puts the moves on mommy and he does his best to stop it.“
看到 ...
同乐{:5_387:} dahli 发表于 2012-1-24 23:07 static/image/common/back.gif
父母关好门就解决了所有的问题。 孩子在一岁以后就最好不要和父母同房了。
分开睡，从小让孩子有自己独立的睡房挺好的