Good News and Bad News

tommy-chen

:D 看到一个笑话,让大家也乐乐
The soldiers had been marching and fighting,they were very dirty ,hot and tired.
4 ~: z7 O. {+ O! j8 M( POne day,the General announced:"My men,I have some good news and some bad news for you
  h& @0 x6 f+ D2 W, H4 X6 E3 @which one would you like first?" "the good news!" they all shouted. "OK." said the General "the good
& M( _( V1 R# C/ _3 ~, Vnews is that you will  each be receiving a complete change of clouthing"
' g9 h$ s7 \' T! ^0 Q2 J: c"Hurrah!"chorused the soldiers."and now for the bad news,Jack,you will change with John.John,you will change
with Tom.Tom,you will change with***.and *** will change with .......

goldfish

A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed.
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After years of this the wife wants him to quit, so she gets two shot glasses, fills one with water the other with whiskey.
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She gets him to the table with the glasses and has his bait box there too.
She says "I want you to see this."
She puts a worm in the water it swims around.
She puts a worm in the whiskey and the worm dies.
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Sternly the wife remarks, "So what do you have to say about this experiment?"

Cooly the husband replies, "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"

tommy-chen

我也刚看到一个,顶楼上!!

9 _! q& K0 |6 Z5 Hohye$ok$ ,再来一个
一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOYOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说： “oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”

后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！”
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7 F+ R$ X& f4 ~) o; s; L日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计 程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”
: A0 ?* ^5 Y6 Y" ]. s) R:D :D :D

tommy-chen

中国建设银行——CBC (Construction Bank of China) ——“存不存？”
中国银行　　——BC （Bank of China）——“不存。”
1 y6 W) v' l) ?! j0 }中国农业银行——ABC (Agriculture Bank of China)— —“啊，不存”
中国工商银行——ICBC (Industry and Commercial Ba nk of China)——“爱存不存”
8 L0 x$ S) z" e4 W招商银行　　——CMBC——“存吗？？白痴！”
* y9 \( @3 h; O. k兴业银行　　——CIB——“存一百”
" N$ E6 M) z1 A/ @北京市商业银行——BCCB (Beijing City Commercial B ank)——白存存不？”
汇丰银行　　——（HSBC）还是不存”