Subject: The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition

orth

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
following words.

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*Divorce:
3 @* I5 `. t) X9 @*Future tense of marriage*
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Cigarette:
( y) o) q, i/ u  |% D/ m% I*A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
at one end and a fool on the other. *
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% {3 h( j; m. W3 r9 n7 h- t+ ?( kLecture:
*An art of transferring information from the
& M0 B, I# E; I" q1 X3 ^notes of the lecturer to the notes of the
' e/ E) w8 h% [  Z* E: ostudents without passing through the minds
of either.*
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Compromise:
$ ~" T+ E" I1 M*The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
" J& _% z  A" u5 u2 neverybody believes he got the biggest piece.*
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" r9 U$ {+ l7 N& r; M9 NTears:
*The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
0 r0 j7 b7 _% c+ p8 X" ?9 Jis defeated by feminine water power.*
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Dictionary:
7 J( ~& U# _2 ?& o5 c, P* Z*A place where success comes before work.*

, S6 O/ D: V4 R2 t2 \0 G; IConference Room:
*A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.*
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9 }, X( q! U; ~% n; x) FClassic:
*A book which people praise, but do not read.*
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0 r8 L* L$ F  g% {2 QSmile:
$ v  G: a* u+ Y% k/ n+ K: _*A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*
* s- d  e0 F. a% ]' P7 _4 s

Office:
' t8 x9 v7 e! W! A- ]/ X, d*A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.*
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2 A# [: H+ m0 k8 v3 r+ @Yawn:
; z( E: F8 f' \% M. I0 }7 o*The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.*

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9 Z& u+ {, k4 i, Q! HEtc:
4 I1 j* k' h- n$ [+ k*A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.*
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Committee:
*Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide that nothing can be done together.*
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! q# ]$ t) ~) V+ k7 r+ `8 k( PExperience:
9 g5 f, I. E& |' L7 E* k( f9 T" i*The name men give to their mistakes.*
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Atom Bomb:
*An invention to end all inventions.*

Philosopher:
*A fool who torments himself during life, to be
, E0 u8 g5 O7 fspoken of when dead.*


& f4 u" `5 j: R( r# ZDiplomat:
*A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.*
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Opportunist:
; a9 ~0 f+ ]  `- k6 H  P*A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
  [: t- x! A& u- [0 pfalls into a river.*
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4 p) x5 H/ K& E6 D1 Z7 zOptimist:
*A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
  f+ H. \7 ]; ]' _# D; Gmidway 'See I am not injured yet!!' *

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. ]6 i7 z2 g* b" _; p: V! PMiser:
*A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*
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! E. f* ]( T7 K3 G2 iFather:
+ U( V' x" r2 g4 F& C  T*A banker provided by nature.*
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$ }9 C3 `# S# ]! y8 Z1 V6 T# _Criminal:
*A guy no different from the rest...except that he got
# o! Z6 J5 c& x  o( Ecaught.*
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Politician:
*One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.*


& {: P1 D9 A7 q" {0 XDoctor:
*A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
you with his bills.*

Boss:
*Someone who is early when you are late and late
when you are early.*

samsammi

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Arterix

ROTFL!!!!
! p$ C& T) r/ S' OI love it, the English humour!
So black!

吉粒粒

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