我掉进了英俊德国上司的情网-ZT

guaguaglueck

原帖由 kaclau 于 2008-1-18 10:37 发表

她们始终有时间差，这叫节奏不合拍。男的固然有其错误，其后的变化确实不对，但撇开老公这一面，只要看一下lz真实心理，一开始为了救自己而结婚，对于婆婆是专横跋扈的，她不能找出办法而总是抱怨，对于老公的 ...

不管出于主动还是被动，总之她在努力的适应角色的转换，
婚姻出现了问题当然不会只是一方的问题，事实上男主在娶女主时并不是不知道她的心理，这些，他是一清二楚，是心甘情愿的。
因为节奏的不合拍而完全无视和彻底否定女主的付出，本来就不是一种客观的立场。
孝敬老人克守妇道是女人的责任，没错，那么男人的责任呢？他的夫道，他对婚姻的忠诚在哪里？
白首偕老的婚姻当然不是永远的花前月下，但这不代表一方的出轨可以被纵容被宽恕，
因为整个社会都沉浸在这么一种堕落的氛围中，就要求对幸福婚姻充满向往的一方向现实妥协，我觉得很可悲。
这样的婚姻如同鸡肋，如果后来女主的感情再一次倒向M，也无可厚非。

guaguaglueck

原帖由 kaclau 于 2008-1-18 10:53 发表
我觉得那个老外最爱的是自己，既想要有个女友填补自己的感情生活，却又急于不去确定恋爱关系，所谓外国老妈的意见等等，他难道不考虑他的心肝已经30岁廖，稍微有点责任心的不会这样吧，lz比较看重外表与感觉，但 ...

对的，M很自私，LZ很可怜$m7$ 为爱而生的女人注定一生悲哀$m17$ $m17$

kaclau

原帖由 guaguaglueck 于 2008-1-18 23:41 发表


不管出于主动还是被动，总之她在努力的适应角色的转换，
婚姻出现了问题当然不会只是一方的问题，事实上男主在娶女主时并不是不知道她的心理，这些，他是一清二楚，是心甘情愿的。
因为节奏的不合拍而完全 ...

的确，双方都有问题，不是哪一方的问题。如果两人在一起会出现无休止的问题，并且缺乏解决问题的能力，这样的婚姻太累，如同鸡肋一般，他们过的也太痛苦。

nightdream

原帖由 kaclau 于 2008-1-18 10:37 发表

她们始终有时间差，这叫节奏不合拍。男的固然有其错误，其后的变化确实不对，但撇开老公这一面，只要看一下lz真实心理，一开始为了救自己而结婚，对于婆婆是专横跋扈的，她不能找出办法而总是抱怨，对于老公的 ...

$握手$
that what I wanna say. however there´re so many, who find the woman and the german good, so I didn´t write my opinion completely.
to her husband: yes, it was his mistake having affair with other women.
but: when a man loves his woman so much but his need to be love is not satisfied, it is quite possible for an affair, earlier or later
and she has made such mistaks, either. when she felt that the german couldn´t give what she wished, she tried to accept the love of her husband (as they were not married)

from anther point of view: also when a prince loves a princess quite a lot, after the marriage, some things changes. and it is quite natural, when a person get something or another person that he desired, the desire will decrease, more or less; unless both undertake something to cultivate this relationship
and she had so good "cards" at the beginning of the marriage, cuz her husband loved her so much; it is quite a pity, she is not a good "player" und missed some good opportunities.
Love is like a tree, it grows when we take good care of it.

原帖由 kaclau 于 2008-1-18 10:53 发表
我觉得那个老外最爱的是自己，既想要有个女友填补自己的感情生活，却又急于不去确定恋爱关系，所谓外国老妈的意见等等，他难道不考虑他的心肝已经30岁廖，稍微有点责任心的不会这样吧，lz比较看重外表与感觉，但 ...

$握手$
that´s also what I wanted to say.
especially as the woman met his mother. what he told his mother disappointed me very much.
as the woman had a run-in with her stepmother, her husband tried to protect her as much as he could.
and the german, he was two years with her and should know that his mother didn´t like chinese women und should have thought in TWO YEARS how to deal with the problem, if he really loved this woman so deeply as he told
in my opinion he just wanted to ENJOY the relationship at the first place
and she loves him more than he love her
in the reality there´re also similar conflicts between wives and stepmothers. also good husbands know what he should do, independently whether he is a german or a chinese

原帖由 guaguaglueck 于 2008-1-18 23:43 发表


对的，M很自私，LZ很可怜$m7$ 为爱而生的女人注定一生悲哀$m17$ $m17$

that is her own choise

I think of the story "gone with wind", at last the capitain left his wife, who he had deeply loved. why?
there´s something similar in the two stories

[ 本帖最后由 nightdream 于 2008-1-19 13:12 编辑 ]

nightdream

I´m sorry for my poor english, there´s no chinese input in this computer
$汗$

nightdream

原帖由 guaguaglueck 于 2008-1-18 23:41 发表


不管出于主动还是被动，总之她在努力的适应角色的转换，
婚姻出现了问题当然不会只是一方的问题，事实上男主在娶女主时并不是不知道她的心理，这些，他是一清二楚，是心甘情愿的。
因为节奏的不合拍而完全 ...

no, the problem may be: she fell in love with the german at first, he is the one she loved; and her husband fell in love with her at firt, she is the one he loved
and it is always in one direction, her husband-->she-->the german
so she was really not ready for the marriage; and when there´s problems in the marriage, she thought about the german, not as a "reserve", cuz she had him always in her heart
and actually she had her husband in her heart, too; maybe not so important like the german.

kaclau

原帖由 guaguaglueck 于 2008-1-18 23:41 发表


不管出于主动还是被动，总之她在努力的适应角色的转换，
婚姻出现了问题当然不会只是一方的问题，事实上男主在娶女主时并不是不知道她的心理，这些，他是一清二楚，是心甘情愿的。
因为节奏的不合拍而完全 ...

我不这样认为。你说她最后倒向M也无可厚非的话，这不是解决问题的办法。 即使她倒向的不是M，而是N, T 或f, 如果她还以自己33岁的年龄来把自己当作弱弱的十几岁天真烂漫的小女孩，所谓拎着睡袍的边蹦蹦跳跳的去迎接他老公等等，她难道不只自己多大了? 如此没有处理问题的能力，她的任何一次婚姻还会像这次一样令她不愉快。可能还没弄清自己的角色，还永远停留在十几岁，大概琼瑶小说看多了吧。

不知火舞

我的心再一次赤裸的呈在一个男人的手上，他若呵护我便活，他若揉碎，我便死。:(

nnsoya

$支持$ $支持$

guaguaglueck

原帖由 不知火舞 于 2008-1-19 15:22 发表
我的心再一次赤裸的呈在一个男人的手上，他若呵护我便活，他若揉碎，我便死。:(

$握手$ $握手$ $握手$

原帖由 kaclau 于 2008-1-19 13:46 发表

我不这样认为。你说她最后倒向M也无可厚非的话，这不是解决问题的办法。 即使她倒向的不是M，而是N, T 或f, 如果她还以自己33岁的年龄来把自己当作弱弱的十几岁天真烂漫的小女孩，所谓拎着睡袍的边蹦蹦跳跳的 ...

我觉得女主最可悲的地方不是她对爱情的态度，而是：
1。她爱的M很自私。
2。看似很爱她的男主其实并没有她和他想象中那么爱她，说到底，对于蒋来说，楚终究难逃猎物的命运，看了开头，我就已经知道后来的发展，
这听起来很可悲，也许连蒋自己都没有意识到，却真实的发生了，这也是为什么蒋在得到她的付出后没有感觉如获至宝，反而用漫不经心节节后退取代了之前义无返顾浴血奋战的原因。谁没有经历过刻骨铭心的爱情和伤痛，她心里的动摇，蒋没有读心术，无法一览无余，可她的努力和付出，蒋是看的到的，只要蒋还是原来的蒋，楚的努力就不会白费，无奈的是蒋变了，所以问题出在谁身上，很清楚。